What does it mean to be resilient?

What does it mean to be resilient?

Resilience isn’t one thing: it is a set of skills. You don’t need to do or have all of them, but the more you have, the better your odds of withstanding life’s ups and downs. But what does it mean to be resilient?

Some people call resilience “protective factors” because they can, indeed, keep you protected from the inevitable challenges that everyone must face. We’ll all deal with disappointment, frustration, irritation, and setbacks.

The more tools in your toolkit, the better you’ll be able to find the right one for the particular job at hand.

The image lists about eight skills that can help to build up your resilience.

Harness Your Ability to Problem Solve

Be Willing to Adapt and Be Flexible

Foster Good Social Support: Friends or Family

Use Your Sense of Humor: Laugh at Life’s Frustrations

Self-Confidence: Know and Use Your Strengths

Maintain Optimism and a “Can Do” Attitude Toward Life

Cultivate Emotional Awareness and Good Communication Skills

Use Self-Control and Respond Wisely to LIfe’s Changing Circumstances

Got one to add? Drop me a comment.

If you’re struggling with not feeling very resilient and would like support, shoot me an email, and let’s look at what’s going on together.

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A Tale of Two Forces

A Tale of Two Forces

Although it has been several years since I was introduced to the allegorical teaching about the individual’s ability to choose in dealing with internal conflict, this lesson has recently resurfaced in my personal and professional life over the past several weeks. While traditionally conveyed in a Native American allegory, I have found the same sentiment expressed by the Vietnamese Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, in the introduction to his new book Love’s Garden, A Guide to Mindful Relationships. The similarities in these metaphors are clear:

In both of these allegories the idea that each individual has opposing forces within which we all must learn to navigate is emphasized. The individual’s ability to choose where they put their attention in these narratives is clear, which creates a sense of autonomy and personal power.

Not unlike the epic story told in the Star Wars movies, we each have a light and a dark force, but it is up to the individual to be aware of those forces, and to concentrate their efforts toward their chosen aims. As the saying goes “where the mind goes, the energy flows.”

Even in cultivating an awareness of these polarities can begin to create a space in which we can cease self-judgment and begin to understand and honor the dynamics of having a Self. We all have these forces within. We all get to choose where we focus, how we expend our energies. In that space of freedom we can begin to explore our options, and choose according to our values instead of acting out of habit.

In his book, Thich Nhat Hahn expands upon this idea of dual gardens within and also uses the ‘two garden’ metaphor as it applies to relationships. He encourages each of us to not only nourish the garden of kindness and compassion within but to also see those qualities in our beloved and through the process of ‘selective gardening,’ to foster their qualities of inherent goodness, kindness and love.

Read the full introduction to Thich Nhat Hanh’s new book on Lion’s Roar

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HSP Therapy in Asheville

HSP Therapy in Asheville

Highly Sensitive People, or HSPs are often people who feel a lot, give a lot, and struggle a lot as a result of this predisposition. Finding HSP Therapy in Asheville can be crucial to your finding the gifts of your sensitivity and the boundaries that will keep you safe.

There is also an overlap between HSPs and people-pleasers, or self-sacrificers. Since we feel so much, we can often pick up on what other people are feeling or needing. And since we don’t want anyone to suffer, we’ll often step in prevent others from feeling discomfort, to our own detriment.

I recently read the 1996 National Bestseller The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Survive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, PhD. Although I had known that this book existed for several years, I had only recently made it a priority to read, and only wish that I had done so sooner!

As a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP, myself, I found Aron’s work to be both comforting and insightful, and I would highly recommend this accessible and informative book to people who suspect that they may be highly sensitive, love someone who is highly sensitive, or work in any healing capacity with the highly sensitive.
If you are seeking HSP Therapy in Asheville, or anywhere in the state of North Carolina, contact me today, and let’s get started.

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